Gonna be a mama...like TOMORROW!

Tomorrow is the big day. "D" Day, if you will. We go into the hospital at 5:45 am. I am not so excited about that part but I guess it's better to get an early start. Delia should be here sometime tomorrow. I keep getting asked if I'm nervous...not really. Not because I'm a strong, level-headed, cool individual. More because at this point I don't know what to be nervous about. I'm sure tomorrow morning, I'll be a dribbling mess. Please keep us in your prayers. I know Mike's already nervous but excited. He just wants me and baby to be okay...and he is also semi-afraid he may pass out. Pray that he does not. We'll be ready for visitors Thursday evening, I'd say...so come on out and see the newborn. Just call Mike first. Obviously, I don't know what room we'll be in so Mike will keep everyone posted. It will be so nice to be able to do regular, ordinary things again too. Like shave my legs without cutting every inch of them because I can't really see what's going on. Or going back to only peeing three times every hour as opposed to 15 (Melissa knows what I speak of...my nickname should be "Tiny Bladder"...Elton John could write a song about it). Also, going back to regular jeans will be good, even if it's not right away. Well, I need to finish getting some last minute stuff done. Next time you all see me, I'll be someone's real, live mother!!!

Thankful

Ok, been almost a month since my last post. Mainly because things have been crazy at home and work trying to prepare for Baby D. So crazy in fact, I've barely had a moment to actually remember that I'm going to be a mom soon. I mean, I know it's coming. This bump in my mid-section isn't here without reason. We're actually going to have her this Wednesday. I'm going in for an induction at 5:45 am. But I've actually been so busy, I haven't given myself a moment to stop and reflect on a lot of things here lately.

I have been a mess recently. Really. A walking mess. I have been a poor friend, a poor steward, a poor spouse even. I feel like I am so behind in my daily walk it's not even funny. I have tried to be too self-reliant (always a constant struggle with me...) and it has bitten me in the rear yet again. I feel like I have lost my grip because I was never supposed to be the one holding the reins to begin with.

I guess what I am most thankful for right now is a loving Father who takes me back everytime I fail. Everytime I am unfaithful to Him...He remains faithful in His love for me.

I want to lose the control I think I have over my life. I want to give it over. Desperately. I want to hand over my worries (and there are a lot) and leave it to my Father.

Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Soooo tired...

Okay, I need to preface this by saying that I do not want to in any way sound ungrateful or anything like that about the fact that we're going to have a baby very soon. I am so thrilled at the idea of being Delia's mom and I cannot wait to see my daughter's sweet face. I am, however, allowed to complain a little bit...so I'm gonna...

This kid has been killing my insides for the past two nights. I think that, collectively, I've gotten about 3 hours of sleep. I look like a punching bag. I have swollen, puffy eyes. My ribs have been taking a nightly beating and my back feels like it's going to cave in on itself. I would like to look forward to being able to possibly get some much needed rest over the weekend...but we'll be in Nashville. Rest won't be an option. I feel like I'm going to pass out at any given moment. Also, I was warned about the really bad heartburn toward the end of pregnancy but I didn't take it very seriously. I do now. Anytime I eat, I feel like she is literally pushing the food, along with a gallon of stomach acids, back up my food chute. And because I'm not very tall, and I feel that she may be...she is quickly running out of room to put herself and so the feet go right up under my diaphragm which makes it really hard for me to breathe as well as I'd like. On top of the fact that I already have asthma...it gets scary.

Okay, I am done with my whining. Again, I am so happy that she'll be here soon and when I do get upset over my lack of sleep and constantly aching body... I just go into her bedroom and I feel overwhelming joy. I just wish she'd give her mother a break for like, one night.

So if part of a tree falls on your house and you're asleep, does it make a sound?

Around 3:00 am, I get up to do my regular pregnant woman bathroom routine and when I lay back down, I hear what sounds like boulders being dropped on the floor or roof up above my and Mike's heads. Well, the tree on the property next door had come up a few huge branches and limbs short...and dropped them right on our house and cars. We've been trying to get the owner to cut it down (b/c it's dead and a huge endangerment to my house and my family) for months now. So Mr. Charlie Russell got a phonecall at about 3:10 in the morning. He told me we shouldn't be parking our cars in a place we know a tree could fall on them. Well, since this is OUR house...I should be able to park wherever I want w/o fear of trees in someone else's yard falling on our vehicles. And what about our house? Can't exactly move that sucker. I still don't know how bad the damage is. We took a few photos but it was dark and since we knew the whole tree could possibly come down...we high-tailed it over to Mike's parents' in Mike's car b/c the tree mostly hit my car. We won't really know until it's light out how bad things are...hopefully not too bad. I just want to go back to a whole house. Anyway, this guy has known for about two months how bad this tree situation is and has done nothing. So now neither Mike or myself have gotten any sleep and have been rushed out of our own home. I am not so happy...

7 more weeks!

Holy moly! I am going to be someone's actual mother in about 7 weeks. This child that has been housed in my belly for the past few months will be outside! I cannot wait to meet her! It's so weird that even just about a year ago, Mike and I had really just started discussing having a baby. It had been on my heart and mind for a long time but I didn't know how he would feel about it so I didn't want to bring it up. I can remember crying and praying because I just wanted a baby so badly. I don't think I've ever even told that to anyone. I would be in the shower or in bed or in my car and just ask God to bless us with a family of our own and I wanted it so desperately that it would make me cry. For anyone that knows me...I'm really not a big cryer (except when I watch ET...). I just wanted to be a mom so much it hurt. And now I'm almost there! I want to see her, I want to know what she looks like and who she'll take after more...even though this kid is going to be goofy as crap...she has no chance as far as that goes. These months have just gone by so fast. Even when I thought things were rough, it's been a pretty smooth pregnancy. I really cannot wait to meet my daughter!!!

Ooh and this isn't so much related to Baby D but I am just so excited. We're going to be putting up our Halloween stuff this weekend! I'm making cookies and cider and it's going to be so much fun! I am a complete and utter nerd when it comes to fall and fall festivities. I even got the baby girl her own tiny little pumpkin. I'm pretty sure it's not going to last till December though.

PartyLite!

I am having a PartyLite show at my house tomorrow night! They have so many pretty things that I want for the house... Anyway, it's at 7 pm tomorrow. I'll have some food and some drinks and it will be fun. Yeah.

Who loves student loans?!

Not me. So I was balancing our checking account last night and when I went online to do so, I found that my student loan payment has been more than doubled. Now, I did set it up a little over two years ago as making graduated payments. That means that for the first two years of repayment, the amount would be lower and then after the two years, it would increase. But I feel like a little notification...a letter or something...would have been nice to get to let me know. It's not $20 extra a month I'm talking about. Not to mention that I started making payments in August of 2005...it's October 2007. A tad over two years. I'm just really aggravated that they didn't let me know exactly when it was going to happen...I mean, I knew it was coming but it wasn't the first thing on my mind. That's why a reminder would have been nice. I work on a budget, people!

Anyway, I'm going to call today and figure out if that's even what it is that happened and that they didn't make some billing error. For all I know, without any letter of notice, that's what it could be.

Sheesh. Other than that, the week is going pretty well. I have to teach CPR and 1st Aid at work tonight...until 9 pm. Woo hoo. And then I have to be to a legislative breakfast with a bunch of boring suits tomorrow at 8 am. Then I have a doctor's appointment and I am going to try and remember this time to ask her which way the baby is laying. I'm pretty sure I know...but I always forget to ask.

The weather is supposed to be really good this weekend! I am definitely excited about that and the fact that we really don't have anything planned.

Well, I need to call about my wonderful student loans. Ah college! You plague me still...

I need to stop...

So I got the Baby Girl a Christmas dress today. I am such a freak when it comes to buying her clothes. It is like an addiction. I had Gym Bucks so I used them...she needed a Christmas dress to sleep through Christmas in so I got it. Sue me. Okay so that sounded a bit defensive...

Stressed no more!

I am so glad this week is almost over. I don't think I have ever been this stressed out since I've worked at Holston. Three audits in one week! We were prepared for two of them and then I get a phonecall at 9:00 am yesterday with our office manager telling me that we had a surprise DCS audit. You'd think with us just having had the other two audits, I wouldn't be worried b/c the files look good but for one of the audits we had to pull the files apart and hadn't had a chance to put them back together. I had to rush in to work (since I hadn't planned on coming in till 10:00) and throw the files back together in about 30 minutes. Not an easy task.

So anyway...it's all over with for now and I don't think we can be audited by anyone else...they've all already hit us within the last couple of months. Next week I can start to really focus on getting things squared away to leave. It will be so nice not to have to think about work for a bit.

Tomorrow's our first shower! I'm so excited but I need to clean as soon as I get home.

Alright...I'm going to start rambling even more if I don't end here...

Starting Over

Okay, so since I have been trying to remember my other blog's password for months now to no avail...I am starting another one so Denira will get off my back.

Things have also been so crazy lately. I'm not even talking about baby stuff. It's been chaotic at work. I am trying to get things ready for me to go on maternity leave and it's like things just keep getting heaped on my already huge list of things to do before the end of November.

Speaking of baby stuff though...this Saturday is our first shower!!! I am so excited to see what Baby D is going to get! That and I want everyone to see what we've done with her room so far. I can't believe we just have 8 1/2 weeks left till she's here. There is still so much to get done between now and then.

I am so excited that it's fall!! I cannot stress that enough. I wish it would cool down already though. I want to wear sweaters and hoodies.

Well, that is about all I have for now. I promise I won't forget the password this time.