Thankful

Ok, been almost a month since my last post. Mainly because things have been crazy at home and work trying to prepare for Baby D. So crazy in fact, I've barely had a moment to actually remember that I'm going to be a mom soon. I mean, I know it's coming. This bump in my mid-section isn't here without reason. We're actually going to have her this Wednesday. I'm going in for an induction at 5:45 am. But I've actually been so busy, I haven't given myself a moment to stop and reflect on a lot of things here lately.

I have been a mess recently. Really. A walking mess. I have been a poor friend, a poor steward, a poor spouse even. I feel like I am so behind in my daily walk it's not even funny. I have tried to be too self-reliant (always a constant struggle with me...) and it has bitten me in the rear yet again. I feel like I have lost my grip because I was never supposed to be the one holding the reins to begin with.

I guess what I am most thankful for right now is a loving Father who takes me back everytime I fail. Everytime I am unfaithful to Him...He remains faithful in His love for me.

I want to lose the control I think I have over my life. I want to give it over. Desperately. I want to hand over my worries (and there are a lot) and leave it to my Father.

Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers.